The Ultimate Sleep Protocol For Insomniacs And Restless Babes

Never fear, a Virgo is here to help you out!

If tossing and turning and waking up exhausted is what you’ve come to expect, I feel you (ugh! Horrendous!) and I’m here, in full Virgo style, to help you change this hideous aspect of your life.

Having impeccable sleep hygiene is deeply important, and it’s really not as simple as just getting into bed, closing your eyes, and hoping for the best (as you well know!). It requires a plan, like most other things in life!

Here, then, is my protocol for sleeping like a baby and waking up feeling happy to be alive.

• Take an Epsom salt bath. Let’s start here. If I really want to wind down, I take an Epsom salt bath — preferably with these melatonin and essential oil salts — around 5pm. It helps me create a definitive end to my workday, and transition into a more sleepy energy. In an ideal world, you might sit in the tub and meditate, but to be really honest, I usually just scroll and zone out. It doesn’t really matter, just let the salts work on you!

• Eat dinner earlier. It’s really hard to fall asleep if you have a full belly (and potentially indigestion). I like to eat around 7pm if I can manage it, which gives me plenty of time to process the food before I get into bed.

• Wash your face. It literally shocks and astounds me how many people don’t wash their face before bed! Please do this. Don’t bring the day’s energy into the bed with you. I like to double-cleanse and use two hot washcloths — a hot washcloth at the end of the day will literally whisk you away to another universe. God, it’s so good.

• Lavender essential oil. Dab it on your wrists, even a teeny tiny bit under your nose if you’re really feeling desperate.

• Take your sleep supplements. I like to take 10mg of melatonin and 1600mg of l-glutamine. You probably already know about melatonin, but l-glutamine is a killer: it helps you relax, increases your immune system response, and is great for workout recovery. I swear it helps, so if you struggle with sleep, try it!

• Now, get into bed before you feel tired. This might just be a trick for Manifestors, but it’s worth a try because it really works for me. On a perfect night, I’m in bed by 9pm, reading, journaling or meditating.

• Keep the lights low. Minimal lighting is key, and gives yet another signal to your brain that it’s time to calm down. Stay off your phone or laptop. I like a dim lamp and some flameless candles to set the ~*~mood~*~ plus they have a remote so you don’t even need to get out of bed to turn them off.

• Cue the wind-down music. This is not the time to blast Rage Against The Machine, my friend. Right now, I am personally loving this 741hz track which has gentle bird noises and the most relaxing tones in the world. Listen to this while you’re resting, reading, journaling, etc.

• Consider your bedding. Some of the worst sleep I’ve ever had has been at men’s houses, because they buy that hideous polyester bedding that doesn’t breathe. There’s nothing worse than sweating while you sleep. In fact, cooler temperatures help us fall asleep, while warmer temperatures wake us up. So, buy something that breathes. I’ve been obsessed with this linen bedding for years: the quality is incredible, and best of all, it’s totally inexpensive.

• Keep it dark, like a crypt. Seriously, if there was ever a time to vampire out, this is out. Light disturbs the brain so much. Blinds that close all the way, no blinking lights, and hell, an eye cover if you must. In fact, an eye cover will almost always net you the best sleep ever. If in doubt, ask yourself, ‘Would Dracula approve?’

• Rain sounds. When I’m finally ready to close my eyes, I put on rain sounds. I wish I could link you the one I use but I can’t, I just choose the Rain option within Sonos Radio. It blocks out all other noise — cars, alarms, weird what-have-yous — and helps you doze off.

There you have it. My perfect sleep protocol. Is it a lot of steps? Yes, I suppose so! But do I sleep like a fucking baby? ABSOLUTELY.

xo,